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I lived several more years on earth before I found out what my mother meant. I had an angel once; now I live in Hell on earth. Somewhere between your first sweet memory to your last in chronological order.
Your first day of school, first love, birthdays, Christmas. The birth of your child. Witnessing them walking and talking for the first time.
All the memories stored up inside your heart dying with you when you take that last breath. There has to be nothing more valuable than being a mother. The times of laughter over silly things, the joy of simply existing because of them. These are all the life-changing experiences that make a woman into the person she was meant to be. I'm young.
Some would say too young to be someone's mother. I would beg to differ with them all if I were given a chance. For some unknown reason, this is my destiny. Life in hell with my heaven so close and yet out of my reach that no matter how far I stretch, I still can't grasp hold of it tightly enough, never to let go. Like my life is right now at this exact second. One minute I'm making dinner for myself, the next I'm being summoned to my brother's office about two miles down the road from where I've lived my entire life.
Instead of calling me like he usually does or storming in with a cold gust of wind behind him, it's different this time. I've been physically escorted out the door and shoved into the back of a darkened SUV while having my hands and legs tied together until I'm curled up in some yoga position I can't get out of. By the time we've reached his office, where I'm screaming and demanding to know what the hell is going on, my throat is raw, my wrists are bleeding, and I'm mentally racking my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong.
I've done nothing to make my brother's asshole best friend, Cutter, drag me out of my home to somewhere I do not want to go. Cutter has always given me the creeps by the way he looks me up and down, stares at my breasts and mouth, but he's never once acted or spoken on his desire. My stomach tosses at the thought of the unpleasant, nasty appendage between his legs.
I'd rather get stung by a thousand bees down there than have him touch me. Every time he looks at me, I feel dirty. I scrub my skin raw the first chance I get whenever he gets close to me. The man is disgusting. Anything to do with him makes me want to puke. Neither he nor my brother would know how to treat a lady if it slapped them in the face and jolted their brains awake. Cutter's threats should make me want to shut my mouth; they don't. I'll make all the noise in the world to find out why I feel like I'm being dragged to my death.
Oh God, please tell me they do not know! Without warning, Cutter grips me by my hair, yanking me out of my spot in the corner. My backside lands on the rough gravel with a solid thud.
The sharp stones are penetrating through the flesh on my back. I scream out in agony as this man bores his fingers into my cheeks, digging into my skin enough to draw blood with his fingernails penetrating through my flesh.
They're going to kill me. If you fuck this up, I'll kill him. Do you get me? I ignore his comment about leaving here. That rolling in my stomach starts to turn, spinning out of control until it crashes into my chest, making it hard for me to breathe. I know exactly whom he's referring to, and the thought makes me want him to stick his dick in my mouth so I can bite the repulsive little thing off. He's talking about Riddick. Cutter nods my head for me using his greased, stained hands, his fingernails so dirty I gag at the sight.
Those hands that make me cringe every time they touch me leave my face and go right back to my hair, where he pulls me behind him across the lot while I stifle my cries of pain. Not from the gravel clawing and embedding into my skin. From the words he spits out like it's an everyday occurrence to threaten me with the only thing that can plunder my soul. This is the first time he's physically hurt me, which makes me realize that whatever I'm here for is the worst kind of bad.
My life is not my own anymore. It belongs to my brother, and I'm a nut job because of it. I live inside my own head, talk to myself, pretend like I'm carrying on a conversation with the one person I want with me all the time. I stare at walls for hours upon hours of the day and night, daydreaming of a better life on the ocean, where I can roam freely. Feel the wind swaying in with the tide, my hair blowing back away from my face as I breathe in the salty air.
These conscious fantasies are a young woman's fairy tale we all wish to come true. Riddick knows how much living on the ocean means to me. He is going to kill them for thinking they can put their slimy hands on me. This will be the end to the street fighting gang war my brother seems to think he's the king of.
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